Ask-Dr-Kirk

Quote Of The Day

 

A professor is someone who talks

in someone else's sleep.

Emotionally Intelligent Signage For The Classroom?

 

Got this from Jeff Russell on Twitter (not sure of the origin but I had to laugh!)

Should Teachers Use Humor In The Classroom?

I'm reading this post, Should Textbooks and Teachers Be Funnier? I would agree that humor is useful in the classroom as long as it is relevant to the topic being taught and the teacher is comfortable with using humor. Humor does seem to make the classroom environment more relaxed.

 

Related posts and articles:

Using Humor in the Classroom

Using Humor in The College Classroom to Enhance Teaching Effectiveness  in "Dread Courses"

Bringing Life to Online Instruction With Humor

A Humorous Look At The Challenge Of Being Inclusive

 

 

Thought I would share this just for fun...Just goes to show how difficult a manager's job can be...Download Hr-plans-a-holiday-party-1

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Still my favorite Thanksgiving riddle...

 

Q: What do you get after eating way too much turkey and dressing?

A: Pie.

 

Have a happy and safe holiday break!

 

A Little Teaching Humor...

Best reason for students to acquire a rich vocabulary: to have multiple synonyms ready when they start to forget words in middle age…Alfie Kohn

 

The First Day Of Class: Did I Miss Anything?

This morning I got an email from a student telling me he is on vacation and will have to miss the first day of class. He asked if we were going to do anything important in class today. I thought the following poem by Tom Wayman says it all.

DID I MISS ANYTHING?
Question frequently asked by
students after missing a class

Nothing. When we realized you weren't here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours

Everything. I gave an exam worth
40 percent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I'm about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 per cent

Nothing. None of the content of this course
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose

Everything. A few minutes after we began last time
a shaft of light suddenly descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring the good news to all people on earth

Nothing. When you are not present
how could something significant occur?

Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human experience
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder
This is not the only place such an opportunity has been gathered

but it was one place

And you weren't here.

Humor For Teachers At PhdComics

Just came across this fun source of cartoons about teaching, grad students, and research. Warning: looking at the archives can eat up a LOT of time. Just saying...

 

Video: What If The Workplace Was Like Facebook?

Here’s a funny video-"Facebook in Real Life."  I loved the ending.  

 

The Christmas Story Goes Digital

Entertaining video of what the story of Christmas would look like if happened today in the world of social media. Merry Christmas Everyone!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkHNNPM7pJA

 

 

What Happened Afterwards: The 12 Days of Christmas

A little holiday humor. Enjoy and have a great holiday break!   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbejNNCTr7k

 

A Little Grading Humor

Got this via Dr. Alec Hosterman-a grade change form that fits any student excuse!

My favorite? "You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done."

 

A Little Holiday Humor

A human resources director tries to please everyone in planning a holiday party: 

Download Hr-plans-a-holiday-party-1

 

Black Friday

 

 
The voices in my head are telling me to buy more shoes...

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Q: What do you get after eating way too much turkey and dressing?

A:  Pie

 

Dr. KirkCat Teaches Diversity...

 

Quote Of The Day

"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled."    Sir Barnett Cocks, British politician

 

You're Not Alone...Making It Through The Five Stages Of Grading

We’re all familiar with the five stages of grief but probably didn't realize that grading also follows a progression of emotions as we try to deal with it. Check out this article on the five stages of grading:

Denial.  At this stage, the instructor is unwilling to acknowledge the size of the task ahead of him or her. An instructor in denial may be heard to say things like, “It’s not really that many essays, when you think about it.” An instructor in denial will grossly overestimate his or her potential assignment-per-hour output…

Anger.  Usually anger begins once the instructor starts grading.  The first few papers are likely to excite the grader, but as a steady stream of errors trickles in, the instructor may become disillusioned. Commonly heard at this stage: “But we covered this in class!" …

Bargaining. This stage usually begins as an earnest attempt to buckle down and grade.  The instructor might say, “If I grade five papers, I can watch one episode of House,” or, “For every page I grade, I get to eat a piece of candy.”  This process starts well, but…

Depression. At some point in a marking weekend, the instructor will come to realize that in spite of his or her best intentions, the papers won’t be marked in time for the next class…

Acceptance/Resignation. At some point, the instructor comes to term with the reality that the papers must be graded. This reality is usually acknowledged the afternoon before the instructor wishes to return the papers, leading to an all-night grading blitz. At some point and by some miracle, however, it all gets done, and the instructor is primed and ready to start to the process over again when the next major assignment comes in…

You can read the entire article here…

 

Handling Student Excuses For Missing Classes Or Assignments

 

This survey shows that technology has become the most popular excuse for not doing homework.

At the Chronicle of Higher Education, Don Troop shares a list of student excuses for missing classes here.

Professor Gary Schirr shares excuses he has collected from others here.

-------------------

I give my students two personal days to miss class for any reason-they just need to email to let me know. This way I don't have to judge the validity of the excuse.

As for homework, I do not take these late for any reason. These are due at the beginning of class and as soon as class begins, I gather them up and put in my briefcase. The students have learned not to ask me to accept homework if they come in tardy and I've found they are now rarely late to class. I do give 85 points worth of homework assignments and the max a student can earn is 75  points. This way a student can miss two assignments and still get the maximum points available.

I'm curious as to how others handle this?

 

"Those" Emails From Students

I'm reading some of the "favorite" student emails that faculty are sharing on the Chronicle of Higher Education's discussion forum and trying not to laugh (or roll my eyes). I especially like the approach advocated here though. Instead of getting angry when you get an email like one of these, this professor advocates: 

"save them in a special folder to share with colleagues later. Thus, my first reaction to this message was one of glee ("I can't wait to show this one to Prof. CornerOffice!") instead of anger and frustration ("must.. control... fists!"). It's so much better for my stress level."

I had a student email me at the beginning of this semester asking if it was ok if he missed the first FOUR weeks of classes...

You can add your own favorite student emails here:  http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,29894.0.html

 

 

 

Dr. KirkCat Demonstrates Answer To "Why Do I Need To Learn This?"

Happy New Fall Semester!

Tomorrow I start a new semester and my 29th year of teaching at the college level. To celebrate, I'm reading over this poem by Billy Collins (U.S. Poet Laureate 2001-2003). 

 

 

                Schoolsville

Glancing over my shoulder at the past,
I realize the number of students I have taught
is enough to populate a small town.

I can see it nestled in a paper landscape,
chalk dust flurrying down in winter,
nights dark as a blackboard.

The population ages but never graduates.
On hot afternoons they sweat the final in the park
and when it's cold they shiver around stoves
reading disorganized essays out loud.
A bell rings on the hour and everybody zigzags
into the streets with their books.

I forgot all their last names first and their
first names last in alphabetical order.
But the boy who always had his hand up
is an alderman and owns the haberdashery.
The girl who signed her papers in lipstick
leans against the drugstore, smoking,
brushing her hair like a machine.

Their grades are sewn into their clothes
like references to Hawthorne.
The A's stroll along with other A's.
The D's honk whenever they pass another D.

All the creative-writing students recline
on the courthouse lawn and play the lute.
Wherever they go, they form a big circle.

Needless to say, I am the mayor.
I live in the white colonial at Maple and Main.
I rarely leave the house. The car deflates
in the driveway. Vines twirl around the porch swing.

Once in a while a student knocks on the door
with a term paper fifteen years late
or a question about Yeats or double-spacing.
And sometimes one will appear in a windowpane
to watch me lecturing the wallpaper,
quizzing the chandelier, reprimanding the air.

Source: Sailing Around the Room: New and Selected Poems.

 

Laugh Of The Day

 

Saw this on Twitter: 

America believes in education. The average professor earns more in a year than some professional athletes do in a whole week.

Happy Birthday To Me. Again.

Seems like just yesterday I was celebrating a birthday. Anyway I'm taking the day off to eat cake.

Advice For Students: Should You Call Your Professor By His/Her First Name?

Finally. A table to help your students understand whether or not to call you by your first name.

Source: www.phdcomics.com

Quote For The Day

Give a person a fish and you'll feed them for a day. Teach them to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks...

Source: http://www.committedsardine.com/ 

This Is What A Letter From A Journal Editor Should Look Like!

 

Dear Professor:

 

Congratulations! Your paper submitted yesterday has been accepted for publication in our next issue. As you know, our journal is ranked in the top 1% of journals in your field. Your paper has been chosen as the best example of research and writing that we have seen in the 40 years that we have been publishing. In fact, the three reviewers of your paper have all decided to cite your paper in their own current research. Please send us more of your research papers asap as we can't wait to review and accept more of your brilliant writing!

 

Oh, and your six-figure check is in the mail!

 

Sincerely,

 

Journal Editor

 

Professors Are Like Cats

Dr. Rob Jenkins (Georgia Perimeter College) makes the case that professors are like cats.

As he notes:

Like cats, professors tend to be highly intelligent, deeply self-actualized, and fiercely independent. They need to be stroked occasionally, but only on their own terms and in their own good time. Mostly, they just want to be left alone to do their own thing. They might not come when called—perhaps because they're suspicious of the caller's motives—but they may very well show up on their own when least expected.

Speaking from my 28+ years in academia, I definitely agree.

 

 

Quote Of The Day

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."    Douglas Adams

I Just Googled My Cat!

OK, this is just weird...if I type in Growltiger and Tampa into the Google search engine, my cat has several hits. He's pushing for his own webpage but in the meantime, you can see him at the Tampabay.com site. Here's another photo here.

 

Good Thinks.

I'm reading over a paper on which a student discusses his future plans. At the end, he typed, "Good thinks will come."

My first thought was to get out my red pen and circle the typo.

However, maybe he's planning to do some excellent thinking in the future?

Celebrating My 28th Year of Teaching

As I start my 28th year of teaching, I came across this poem by Billy Collins (U.S. Poet Laureate 2001-2003). It seems appropriate...

                Schoolsville

Glancing over my shoulder at the past,
I realize the number of students I have taught
is enough to populate a small town.

I can see it nestled in a paper landscape,
chalk dust flurrying down in winter,
nights dark as a blackboard.

The population ages but never graduates.
On hot afternoons they sweat the final in the park
and when it's cold they shiver around stoves
reading disorganized essays out loud.
A bell rings on the hour and everybody zigzags
into the streets with their books.

I forgot all their last names first and their
first names last in alphabetical order.
But the boy who always had his hand up
is an alderman and owns the haberdashery.
The girl who signed her papers in lipstick
leans against the drugstore, smoking,
brushing her hair like a machine.

Their grades are sewn into their clothes
like references to Hawthorne.
The A's stroll along with other A's.
The D's honk whenever they pass another D.

All the creative-writing students recline
on the courthouse lawn and play the lute.
Wherever they go, they form a big circle.

Needless to say, I am the mayor.
I live in the white colonial at Maple and Main.
I rarely leave the house. The car deflates
in the driveway. Vines twirl around the porch swing.

Once in a while a student knocks on the door
with a term paper fifteen years late
or a question about Yeats or double-spacing.
And sometimes one will appear in a windowpane
to watch me lecturing the wallpaper,
quizzing the chandelier, reprimanding the air.

Billy Collins from his book, Sailing Around the Room: New and Selected Poems. 

Humorous Universal Grade Change Form

Got this grade change form from Steven Diaz (St Thomas University) through Twitter. After 27 years of teaching, I'm sure I have heard most of these excuses...

Funny Video On Social Networking Sites

Check out this funny spoof of West Side Story that looks at various social networking sites...

The Top 10 Student Excuses For Not Doing Homework

Micah Scott has a list of reasons she's received as to why her students didn't do their homework. Anyone have any other good ones?

The 15 Strangest College Courses In America

Some of these sound like fun both to take and to teach!

Where Are Your Intended Learning Outcomes?

Not sure of the original source of this but got it today from Dr. Robert Anderson, my dean at University of South Florida.

------------

Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathered them around him, and taught them saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,

Blessed are the meek,

Blessed are they that mourn,

Blessed are the merciful,

Blessed are those who thirst for justice,

Blessed are you when persecuted,

Blessed are you when you suffer,

Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven.

Then Simon Peter said,

            “Do we have to write this down?”

 And Andrew said,

            “Are we supposed to know this?”

 And James said,

            “Will we have a test on this?”

 And Phillip said,

            “I don’t have any paper.”

 And Bartholomew said,

            “Do we have to turn this in?”

 And John said,

            “The other disciples didn’t have to learn this.”

 And Matthew said,

            “Can I go to the boy’s room?”

 And Judas said,

            “What does this have to do with real life?”

 

Then, one of the Pharisees asked to see one of Jesus’ lesson plans and inquired of Jesus.

            “Where are your intended learning outcomes?”

 

And Jesus wept.

Job Opportunity?

As many of you know, I've been teaching at the college level since 1982 and love what I do. However, this job might entice me to leave teaching!

What Was That Again?

In a paper I'm grading, the student mentions having "strong people kills"...I'm not sure whether to laugh or to be very afraid.

Interpreting Those Teaching Evaluations

As you read over those evals from last semester, this site interprets those student comments for us:

Here are some of my favorites:

What They Say in the Written Evaluation: “This class was one of the best classes that I have ever taken.”

What They Mean: “This class was one of the best classes that I have ever taken.”

***

What They Say: “This is the worst class that I have ever taken.”

What They Mean: “This class challenged many of my most basic assumptions and required me to work hard.”

***

What They Say: “This professor was really condescending.”

What They Mean: “I can’t take criticism.”

***

What They Say: “The professor should post the lecture notes on-line so that we can have something to follow in class.”

What They Mean: “The professor should post the lecture notes on-line so that we won’t have to go to class at all.”

***

What They Say: “The professor has the worst taste in clothes that I have ever seen.”

What They Mean: “I have no idea about what constitutes an appropriate professional relationship and will probably be fired from my first job.”

***

What They Say: “Grading for this class was totally unfair.”

What They Mean: “I am getting a ‘F’ in this class.”

***

What They Say: “Grading for this class was totally fair.”

What They mean: “I am getting an ‘A’ in this class.”

***

What They Say: “The attendance policy for this class treats us like we are children.”

What They Mean: “I had to cancel a two-week vacation in Paris because attendance was required for this class.”

And my favorite comment?  "This teacher is so arrogant; he thinks he knows more than anyone else in the class."

How To Use Humor In The Classroom

I recently received an email asking me for advice on how to use humor in the classroom. I have found the following articles useful.

Using Humor In The College Classroom To Enhance Teaching Effectiveness In "Dread Courses"

Ten Specific Techniques for Developing Humor in the Classroom 

I share a couple examples of how I've used humor with my students.  I find using humor (and laughing at myself on occasion) helps to create a positive learning environment.

How do others use humor in the classroom? Jokes? Cartoons? Storytelling?

Quote For The Day

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.  Bill Gates

Write Or Die

Got this from Daphne Gray-Grant at Publicationcoach.com   It's a website for writers that are having trouble concentrating on their work.  As someone who needs to revise and resubmit a journal article, I may have to try it!

As noted on Write or Die:

[This] is a web application that encourages writing by punishing the tendency to avoid writing. Start typing in the box. As long as you keep typing, you're fine, but once you stop typing, you have a grace period of a certain number of seconds and then there are consequences.

The idea is to instill in the would-be writer with a fear of not writing. We do this by employing principles taught in Introduction to Psychology. Anyone remember Operant Conditioning and Negative Reinforcement?

Negative Reinforcement "strengthens a behavior because a negative condition is stopped or avoided as a consequence of the behavior."

Consequences:
Gentle Mode: A certain amount of time after you stop writing, a box will pop up, gently reminding you to continue writing.

Normal Mode: If you persistently avoid writing, you will be played a most unpleasant sound. The sound will stop if and only if you continue to write.

Kamikaze Mode: Keep Writing or Your Work Will Unwrite Itself. These consequences will persist until your preset conditions have been met (that is, your time is up or you've written your word count goal or both).

This is aimed at anyone who wants to get writing done. It requires only that you recognize your own tendency towards self-sabotage and be willing to do something about it.

Maybe our students would find this useful?

 

Dr. Kirkcat Believes On-Time Attendance Is Important

 

 

My granddaughters recently sent me a number of pictures they drew of Dr. Kirkcat's Adventures in Academia. The photo above illustrates why it’s important to get in the habit of attending class on time.  Did I mention that they are 10 and 7 years old? They get it.

What Is This Cat Teaching Us?

OK, I should be grading but sometimes it helps to be in a good mood before starting... Check out these funny short videos on Simon's cat.

Let me in and feed me!

Wake up and feed me! 

Just feed me!

 

 

Policy On Cell Phones Ringing In Class

Nelly Cardinale (Brevard Community College) posted this on Twitter: Her son came home from school with his class syllabus that noted:

If a cell phone rings, the entire class has an immediate quiz and the cell phone owner cannot take the quiz.

Time To Decorate Cookies The Web 2.0 Way!

I'm taking a few days off now that the semester is over to frost a gingerbread man Web2.0 Style 

Thanks to Angela Maiers for sharing this.  Happy holidays everyone!

And She Wants To Be A Manager?!

Last semester I taught a class for management majors and discussed what managers should and shouldn't ask in an interview during their hiring process.  I then asked the following on an exam:

Is it legal to ask applicants this question:  "Did you go to work on time on a regular basis at your last job?"

One student's written response on her exam?  "That's kind of rude!"

 

Website Sells Fake Doctor's Excuse Letters

Professor Barb Warner (University of South Florida) shares this: one of her students brought her a medical excuse note written by Leslie D. Parchmento, M.D. As Professor Warner notes, something about it didn’t sound right so she decided to check to see if the office existed...

Yep, there's a website where students can buy fake doctor's excuses!

What Is Your Research Worth?

Professor Greg Mankiw (Harvard University) posts this chart to measure how much your journal articles are worth. Very funny (or maybe not....)

Thanks Mike Wagner for passing this on.